Screentime Management

Overview
As children grow, it’s natural to want to provide them every tool we can to help them feel confident and happy. From sports to schools to activities, we place priorities on our children having meaningful friendships, achieving academic success, and feeling fulfilled in their hobbies, talents, and interests. Across environments, for individuals of every age, screen-based technology has become a ubiquitous part of daily life. Smartphones, computers, laptops, video games, and televisions can be found in nearly every business, school, and home in the United States. With that in mind, we believe it is vital for families to utilize intentional structures and strategies to help children develop healthy and functional relationships with technology.
Access to screen-based technology provides children with opportunities that are undeniably positive, and properly deserving of merit. Never before have children had easier access to such a vast wealth of information, allowing them to enrich their lives by immersing themselves in connections to friends and boundless development of their interests. Screens offer our children new and exciting methods of learning, and their comfort with and responsible use of these technologies can increase their learning potential to a seemingly unlimited degree.
Like any tool, though, screens can be used in ways that may be antithetical to our children’s healthy development. Children who access hours of screentime every day are often reported to struggle with household cooperation, moodiness, difficulty in real-world social interaction, sleep difficulties/disturbances, increased time spent sedentary, and decreased motivation for other things. Additionally, in more extreme cases, negative body image/body dissatisfaction, pressured and/or difficult relationships with food, over sexualization, and exacerbation of pre-existing emotional and mental health issues, like ADHD, Anxiety, and Depression have been reported.
If you believe your child, or another family member, may be struggling with any of these issues, it may be worthwhile to consider the following strategies and ideas:
Model healthy habits with the technology in your home
It is quite possible, as part of your work, you may need to access a computer, a laptop, and a phone. Be intentional about the time you spend with your tech, and the time you spend away from it. Create a personal goal to limit your own screen time, and encourage your family members to join you. Encourage and expect eye contact, presence, and attention when family members are engaging with each other, and try not to allow passive phone access to dilute quality family time.
Set clear limits about times of day/activities where phones and other technology can and cannot be present
Maybe you want phones or video games to be put away during meal times, while getting ready for school and work in the morning, or while spending quality family time together. Communicating these limits clearly to your family, and then sticking to them, places balance and structure to the role and presence screens play in your family’s day-to-day life.
Balance screen time with other, non-tech related activities
Ensure your child is engaging in a well-balanced mix of activities that do not involve screens. Oftentimes when a child has spent a significant amount of time in front of screen, they may present as resistant to do something else. The idea of putting down the phone and going outside to play may be met with complaints or negotiations for more screen time. But more often than not, once children get out and get moving, they dive fully into their new activity, and enjoy themselves during the process.
Consider setting up a “reward” system for screen access
Children who enjoy screens may experience motivation to access them daily, perhaps even multiple times a day. Try thinking about this as an opportunity to use that motivation to develop healthy mental and physical habits in your child. You might make an “expectations list”, or a “responsibility schedule”, outlining chores, homework, household tasks, and other activities your child is expected to participate in. Place access to screen time at the end of the list, contingent on their fulfilling all prior items first. Cooperation with their list may be rewarded by access to screens. Likewise, arguing, defiance, and other forms of non-compliance can result in a loss of access to screens for the remainder of the day.
Discuss the impacts of your child attempting to access screens by engaging in things like whining, complaining, and lying
Perhaps at some time in the recent past, your child utilized these behaviors to try to gain access to additional screentime. If it worked for them, and they ended up getting what they wanted, they may be prone to try these things every time they are denied access to screens. If you decide to cut back on their access, discuss the negative thoughts and feelings associated with their tantrum behavior. Be nurturing but honest and discuss the frustration screen-related tantrum behavior causes the rest of the family.